Today, the British football world was shaken with the news of the suicide of the Welsh manager, Gary Speed, who was found hanged at his home this morning. On the surface, he was a man with the world at his feet: happily married with the footballer's dream job of successfully managing his national side. He was a regular pundit on Football Focus and Match of the Day. I didn't know him and yet I was moved to tears while listening to his close friend, Robbie Savage, fielding calls on a football phone-in that rapidly became a tribute program. (Robbie, it was obvious you were crying.)
My heart goes out to his family: his father, his wife and his children. I am truly sorry for your loss. (I have heard no mention of his mother so assume she has predeceased him. If that assumption is wrong, I am very sorry.)
The big question is "Why?". Was it planned? Was it spontaneous? Were you living a double life for years, Gary, hiding depression from absolutely everyone? Maybe we'll never know. Hopefully his wife and children won't be left haunted for years, blaming themselves. The one thing I know about suicide is that, for the person involved, they want what-ever-it-is-tormenting-them to stop and to be at peace. They often don't want to die but they can't see another way to make it stop.
Gary, I hope you are at peace now.